Health Update & Some FA Lessons

For the last few weeks I have been feeling exceptionally icky.  Two weeks ago I even spent the better part of a Sunday in my bed watching shows that frankly, make me ashamed of my gender.  I'm looking at you Bridezilla! The fatigue has been worse than ever and the pain has been pretty amped up.  I also threw my girlie cycle into a bit of a tizzy with the dieting so to top it off I was stuck in PMS mode for like 6 weeks. 

I managed to get myself an appointment with a new OB/GYN on 6/08.  He was great!  I am always concerned about going to a new doctor since they always get on me about my weight.  No matter what i weigh, its usually never right since they are all about their BMI bullshit.  But I digress, this doctor was patient and kind and sort of reminded me of a Latino Kenny Rogers from the Gambler days.  I spoke to him about my weight issue since taking Cymbalta and expressed my desire for children.  I also let him know that I was a fibromyalgia patient and about the research linking fibromyalgia to hypothyroidism.  I told him that the last time I had a thyroid check I was told I was borderline and that was 6 years ago, before they adjusted the level that determine hypothyroidism.  Without a mention of my weight, a brief discussion about my age and a comfortable quick exam he decided it was time for another thyroid function test.  He also told me if I wasn't pregnant in 6 months of trying he would get me on Clomid ASAP.

I went and got the function test on 06/09 and am awaiting a call this week to schedule a follow up appointment to go over the results and any medications I may need.  I am actually pretty excited about this.  I am hoping that many of the new symptoms and the worsening of the fatigue will be alleviated by the hormone supplements.  I know that being treated for hypothyroidism isn't the weight loss magic bullet.  I can say that I am sure I will hit my natural weight much more easily if all my systems are functioning properly and I am also sure that it will be that much easier to get pregnant.  I promise to keep you updated on the results.

Recently, due to feeling just horrible about the way I look lately and trying to get to a place of acceptance about my body so that I can just focus on health at any size, I have been reading some "Fat Acceptance" or "Size Acceptance" blogs and websites to help get some perspective on myself and my perceived failures.  I have added some of my favorite sites to "My Favorites" at the bottom of the blog.  These women, mostly, are amazing.  They encourage Health at Every Size and understand that being fat isn't the scapegoat for any illness you can possibly have.  They are healthy happy people who live in and love their own skin. For that I say YAY! 

I have only known one person in my life, who, while admittedly still trying to shed a few pounds, is so happy and secure in her own skin that she never once worries about whether she "should" wear something, she wears what makes her feel good.  Amy Douglas was Beth Ditto lonnnnnnng before Beth hit the scene.  She is a woman of curves and she lives the adage, "If you got it, flaunt it!".  I admire her and her ability to be who she is and to not give a rat ass what anyone else thinks. 

I also came across some very interesting numbers that goes into the category of "Things that make you say HMMM".  At the website http://www.bmi-calculator.net/ I was able to get some really good information about the dreaded BMI, which I should note that at the time he won Mr. Universe, The Governator, was obese by BMI standards, but I also got some other information about body fat and lean muscle mass.  So for the first time ever I am going to publicly disclose some previously very uncomfortable information about myself.  OK well not "previously uncomfortable" because it's pretty fucking uncomfortable right now.  But alas, I take a deep breath, 1,2,3 and here we go:

BMI Guideline
BMI Classification - Calculator

18.5 or less Underweight
18.5 to 24.99 Normal
25 to 29.99 Overweight
30 to 34.99 Obesity (Class 1)
35 to 39.99 Obesity (Class 2)
40 or greater Morbid Obesity
I am 5' 5" tall
I weigh 210 lbs
My BMI is 34.94 which puts me in Obese Class 1
To be healthy at my height according to the BMI, I must weigh NO MORE than 149lbs, 1 more pound makes me obese
OK so that means that for me to be healthy according to BMI, I should lose 60 pounds.

Lets look at Body Fat now. - Calculator
Height 5' 5"
Weight 210
Waist 40.5" (this is something that occurred with the medicine induced weight gain this year)
Wrist 7" (when I did Nutri System in 1992 they were amazed at the size of my frame even though celebrity diet doctors claim there is no such thing as "big boned" I carry little to no chub on my wrists)
Hips 48.75" (yep this is also from the meds although I am always a bit hippy, and a little bit country and a little bit rock n roll)
Forearm 10.5" (thank you Goodyear for my Popeye arms)
This gives me a body fat % of 32.44%

Now this site tells you how to figure your lean body mass which is basically your muscles, bones, fluids, blood, and organs.  Here is the math
Weight x Body Fat % = Pounds of Fat
Pounds of Fat - Weight = Lean Muscle Mass
So I in my case
210 x .3244 = 68.12 lbs of fat
210 - 68.12 = 141.9

But wait, didn't BMI tell me that I needed to lose AT LEAST, 60 pounds to be healthy?
So what if I lost the 60lbs they wanted me to lose, 60lbs of fat.  I would weigh 150lbs.  I would have about 10 pounds of body fat on me, that's less than 10%.  That means hair loss, skin issues and amenorrhea among other things.  Women need at minimum 10 - 12% body fat to keep things functioning.  If I want to be simply fit and "acceptable" in terms of body fat, I call 25% a really good number to shoot for.  So lets do that math.
210 x .25 = 52.50
141.9 + 52.50 = 194.40
So for me that looks a heck of a lot closer and far more realistic a goal then losing 60lbs.  Now I am looking at 20 and the chasm doesn't seem quite so wide.

I guess the point to all this is to listen to your body.  Be proactive when it comes to the doctor and make sure that you are expressing yourself properly.  They are your employee just like the garbageman and the mailman.  Do not allow them to base all your illnesses on the fact that you are a person of size.  In order to do that you have to also change your perspective on the people around you.  Take a look at today's poll and answer it honestly.  Did you judge someone by the way they look only?  They could be a wonderful person and even if they aren't, they are a human being with feelings, wants, desires and dreams and are deserving of your love and respect and not your judgement.

Well that's all the rambling I can see fit to do on a Monday morning.  I hope this helps someone see that if the doctors want to play a numbers game based on BMI you too can arm yourself with more important numbers and make them prove to you that its your extra pounds that are causing illness XYZ and not the other way around.  Until next time, love yourself, judge not, and cheer on our sisters of size who live everyday out loud!

Cyrus: The Year's Scariest Romantic Comedy

It looks very interesting but it almost feels like using John C Reilly, who I love btw, in a film like this will invariably bring about comparisons to Dale Dobeck from Step Brothers. Step Brothers is arguably one of my favorite films of the last 5 years. I hope the film does well because all the players are performers I truly admire and enjoy. I just have the tiniest bit of hope that Jonah Hill's character, at some point, asks if someone has touched his drumset.

:)

PLease Dont Get Mad at Me Vinny For Using Crisco But I Didn't Have Enough Butter, Chocolate Chocolate Chip Puffy Squishy Cookies.

OK so yesterday I made some cookies.  Our roommate finally brought all his stuff back to the house and he brought a bag of chocolate chips.  History tells me I can not have a bag of chips in the house for more than a few weeks before I simply HAVE to make something.  So yesterday I had a brief moment of motivation, and probably because Aunt Flo is some 4 weeks late, and decided to make some cookies.

Looking in the fridge however I realized I wasn't motivated enough for the 40 minute round trip into town for some butter so I went with the butter "Flavored" Crisco I had in the cabinet since some time around when God was a boy.  In the back of my mind I could hear family friend V, of Sweet Lady Lulu's Bakery in NY, yelling at me about the use of *GASP* Crisco. I'm sorry Vinny but sometimes when you wanna just be fat and a little motivated, cabinet hunting is a lot easier than actually leaving the house.  But here a link to a real Pastry Chef's website.  So to the 3 of you who read me, go there, go NOW http://www.sweetladylulus.com/

I want to speak for a moment about tools when you are baking cookies.  I have learned that you can improvise with a lot of kitchen items to make what you need but for me these are must haves:

Dishers:  Like mini Ice Cream Scoops, every cookie is the same size so they all cook evenly!!  Yay for that

The next is a sifter, really sifting just changes everything in cookies.  No more belly bombs or clumps of salt in one bite!

Now since Alton Brown has one of these nifty deals, I had to have one too but in absence of the sifter you can use:

A WHISK!  Yup works just fine!!!

Now I am spoiled by my Kitchen Aid stand mixer which is sadly, the BEST thing I got out of my seven year marriage, but I digress.  Using a plain wooden spoon works just fine as does a hand mixer until you get to adding the chips and then I say use a spoon or silicon spatula so you don't pulverize them.

OK so here's the recipe:

In the manner of Alton Brown, meet the dry team:

2 cups all purpose flour

1/4 cup cocoa powder

1 tsp salt (kosher not so much for this)

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp baking powder

1 1/4 cups dark brown sugar packed well

1/4 granulated sugar

1 tbs cinnamon

1 12oz bag of chocolate chips

Now the wet team:

1 cup of TRANS-FAT FREE CRISCO (see Vinny I tried, well I didn't try when I made them but I am trying now lol)

2 eggs

1.5 tsp vanilla extract

Pre heat the oven to 375

In a bowl combine flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon.  Either sift or use your whisk to thoroughly combine the ingredients and then set aside.

In another bowl or in your mixer blend the TRANS-FAT FREE CRISCO, brown sugar and granulated sugar.  Blend until very light and fluffy, scraping down the sides if you must to make sure there are no sugar landmines remaining.  Then add the eggs one at a time blending very well after each addition.  Then add the vanilla.

Once everything is well combined ass the dry mixture in three batches until it is totally incorporated and there are no flour chunks left.  Then add chocolate chips.

Scoop by disher onto a baking sheet.

For the small cookies bake for 7 minutes

For the larger cookies bake for 11 minutes

I got 4 dozen mini cookies and 2 dozen large form this recipe with very little dough going directly into my gob thanks to the CRISCO as the dough is not nearly as delicious and tempting as it would have been, had it actually contained butter.  If you got lucky they look like this:

                   

All that's left to do is to get an ice cold glass of 2% and go to town!

Until next time my 3 readers........................

Reasons vs Excuses, Learning to live within Reason

A few years back I had the pleasure of working with a wonderful Director.  "Freak Nuts McGee" or FNM as I will refer to him, was a great person to learn from. He gave you the tools and the freedom to really shape your career.  I really liked working for him.  The first time I was nominated for the Excellence award he found out that the last name I was using at the time wasn't my legal name.  I had never bothered to legally change my name when I got married but I used it professionally.  All of a sudden I would hear my maiden name being bellowed across the building whenever he needed something or just wanted to go have a smoke.

FNM and I would have arguments frequently about the difference between reasons and excuses.  We handled collections, retention and service for a telecom company.  When we would see a rise in delinquency my partner "Bubba" and I would get called in and the screaming about numbers would begin.  Now I acted as a BA for part of my function there and Bubba and I ran most of the reporting for the departments.  At the same time I was the collections system admin, the automations PM, the service process improvement point person, the WNP contact for collections, the SOX compliance author for collections and systems and a team manager for 5 Revenue Assurance representatives and 20 corporate and government account collectors.  Needless to say, I was over worked and way underpaid but I wouldn't change that experience for the world.

FNM: "Why are we showing a 5% increase in 30 day debt"

Bubba: "There was a problem with invoicing this month and customers received their bills about 10 days late.  That correlates to a slight increase in 30 day debt, we should see it recover in the next 30 days or so."

FNM: "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSES!!"

This is where it would get sticky as I would always jump in and point out to him this is a reason for delinquency NOT, in fact, an excuse.  Back and forth we would go over the semantics of the situation when its really quite simple. 
Example of a reason:
Q: Why is the sky blue
A:  Because Blue in sunlight collides with air molecules and our eyes see it as blue

Example of an excuse:
Q.  How did you gain 15 lbs?
A.  Because the American Fast Food Culture has caused me to overeat at places like McDonald's because it is cheaper than cooking at home.

Do you see the difference here?  Sometimes, the best and often most painful answer isn't put forth to excuse something but rather to explain it. 

So does this hold true in every aspect of our lives?  Of course it does.  People that NEVER, EVER lie are liars, because we all tell lies even if only to ourselves.  Most of the time those lies take the form of excuses.  We place blame on things in order to make them work for whatever situation we may find ourselves in.  35 years old and can't hold a job?  The reason must be because someone told you a lie 30 years ago or you don't take well to authority.  Right?  Nope!  Those are excuses, the reason is you are lazy and wish to be taken care of.  And hey, listen, if you can find someone to take care of you and that will let you sit home while they work, more power to you.  Really, I am jealous!  But don't confuse the two.

Until we stop using things in our lives as excuses and start really being genuine and citing the underlying reasons for things, can we begin to move forward and grow.

Let me site some examples from my own life:

On why I don't exercise:
My doctors have told me that I need to exercise at night to help with my sleep issues and I don't have access to a facility that can allow me to exercise the way I need to in order to not be wracked with enhanced pain and fatigue for weeks. 
- This is both an excuse and a reason.  Yes, I was told I should exercise at night but they never said that's the only time, yet I can find a million reasons why I cant exercise at night if I wanted to.  Each and every one of them in an EXCUSE.    The reason here is that there isn't a facility that I can afford nearby that will give me the low impact exercise I need, a la resistance machine like Curves or swimming.  I know from experience that any other sort of weight lifting or strength training will throw me into enhanced pain and fatigue for weeks.

On this last 30lb weight gain:
The prescription drug Cymbalta put approximately 5lbs per week on me.  I discontinued use and the gaining stopped.
- This is a straight reason.  Nothing changed in my level of activity or in my eating habits.  I wasn't eating anymore than I normally did and was shocked that I was gaining weight.  But lo and behold my ass, you will find that 30 there!

On why I cant make it to a party at the in laws:
I had a really bad night last night and didn't get much sleep at all.  I was up with RLS and couldn't get comfortable.  To make it worse my leg tingle thing is back and I think my herniated disc is flaring because I have a bigger than normal bulge at C5-C6 and I am in extra pain there.
- This is a straight excuse.  I didn't tell a single lie here, yet its still an excuse.  If we were going to Magic Mountain to ride X I would lie about my neck pain, say I felt great and get moving because it isn't something that I dread more than the laser gum surgery sans numbness that I have had twice now.  My mother in law is a freaking lunatic who, if she were on fire, I wouldn't cross the street to piss on unless I happened to have been drinking diesel fuel for the last week and thought that my urine would make the fire stronger.  Therefore I have a convenient bag of excuses to pull from so that I don't have to do something that is unpleasant to me.

SO WHATS THE POINT?

My point is that many of us with chronic pain issues whether they be CPS, Fibromyalgia, Lupus, neck and back injuries, etc., have a tendency to use our pain as an excuse to get out of doing things that we really just don't want to do.  I could make a good case for disability due to the CPS/Fibro and the horrific, flaming knife from the bowels of hell piercing my vertebrae pain I get from my herniated disc.  I could probably sit at home and play World of Warcraft all day and collect a check.  It would be just that easy.  But I don't, not because I think that collecting from the government is wrong or that people on disability are lazy, I don't because I know what that can mean to me and how deep into an introverted, online only existence I could end up living.

I know that I can hide.  I have done it before.  I have checked out of life for a few hours, days, weeks, even months at a time in the past.  I get myself wrapped up in the lie, convincing myself that I am too tired, or in too much pain to actually live my life.  Being in a place where I can control everything around me is comforting.  Sometimes too much so.  The allure is great to be alone and in control. But is that life???

No, using the excuses so many of us do, to live less of a life all the while convincing ourselves to believe that lie is not life at all.  It is in a way, a living death.  Being able to confront your pain, finding ways to manage it while still living life to the best of your ability is the true essence of life. Once you cast off the shackles that chronic pain can place on you, you will find that you are stronger than you thought you were.  Life takes on a whole new meaning then, and suddenly you realize that you have been hiding from yourself and are forced to start laying out the reasons for your resistance to life, change, challenge and adventure.  Only then will you see who you are and why you shy away from life.  Only then can you start to build the road map that will lead you to a life of fulfilment and joy.  For now, I continue to chose to live within reason.

Until next time dear readers (are there more than one of you?), stay strong and strive to LIVE.

PS For anyone else suffering from fibromyalgia please take a look at this very interesting study done a few years back and ask your doctor for a thyroid function exam. Hypothyroidism and Fibromyalgia

I Think I'm In Love

Welcome to the world you gorgeous little thing!
Sent from my U.S. Cellular BlackBerry® smartphone

Afflictions, Addictions, and a Baby Pickle??

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY "A"!!!!

(PS Aunt Shelly gave you that name based on a WOW character, you were a geek before you were born heh heh)

Good Morning to the three of you who read my blog, I trust we all had a nice evening of rest and relaxation. Well at least I hope you did. I had another fun filled night of tossing and turning. I think I pissed off the fibroghouls that live inside me since they were very ornery last night. One of these days I am going to catch me one of them and blend it up in my super leet new blender and then leave it on the night table as a warning to the others. That'll show 'em, right?

Some of the problem sleeping last night was because I am four mentally most of the time. Remember when you were little and it was Christmas Eve, how hard it was to fall asleep knowing that presents were going to be there in the morning? How excited you would get to the point of insomnia the night before you were to take a trip to Disney World? I have posted a picture of what this looks like below n case a few of you cant remember feeling like this:

That was me all night last night and into this morning. Why, you ask? Well its not because my husbands step mother disappeared without a trace because that is joy that can not be expressed with pictures of a talking cat and chihuahua. Oh no, when that day comes it will be more like:

But I digress (notice that this is video from a theme park attraction since it was the only place I could get the real song and not a school play.  Apparently the copy write holder for the music made YouTube remove the sound from any movie clips featuring the actual song.  Greedy fuckers).  Today is the day that my pickle will be popping out her gherkin!  I am so excited for her, and jealous as all hell. :)  

I spoke to her earlier and she was in the hospital, they had given her the pitosin and apparently sent in a circus midget to perform the internal dilation check.  Why they would find someone with tiny, short fingers to go check a six foot tall blonde's cervix is beyond me.  Of course she cant reach it!  Someone get this nurse a step stool STAT!!!  So I am waiting anxiously with baited breath until I see the picture of my new nephew AW.  In a moment of celebration I will also bring you this today.

OK so what does any of this have to do with addiction?  Well I will tell you.  In 2006 my brother Chessco was playing this game that he absolutely loved.  He would tell me about it every time we talked.  He would tell me how cool it was that when you died you would have to run back to your body as a ghost so you could come back to life.  He told me about killing other players and then "spawn camping" them so that you could kill them again as soon as they came back to life.  He told me of epic PvP battles in a place called "Alterac Valley" that would last for hours and sometimes days with forces of good and evil battling it out.  Frankly, he drove me crazy.  All the time he was telling me "You gotta play this game Shell you will love it".  Well eventually I upgraded the computer I had and was finally able to download this game called World of Warcraft, maybe you have heard of it.

WOW has over 8 million subscribers world wide and is to date, still the best MMO on the market.  I got fully sucked in the minute I started playing and even though I cancelled my account in February of this year, I still miss the game.  It holds a special place in my heart as it was the place were I met my husband AND where the pickle met her husband and in the next few hours or so, baby daddy. Yes they are the same guy my BFF is not a hooker, well I mean she is but in a good way!  Warcraft inspires passion in so many people whether it be the "purists" who thought losing levels was a good punishment for accidentally walking off a cliff to your death, a la Everquest, who call the game terrible and too easy.  There are also the "fanbois" who worship every move Blizzard takes with the game, even if it is breaking end game raiding to appease PvP'ers who QQ about everything all the time.  I have played Everquest II, Age of Conan, City of Heroes/Villians, Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean and I will still hold WoW to be the best of the bunch.

So why cancel the membership?  Well, WOW is to most of us who play the game to see content, like a glass of wine to an alcoholic.  Sure if we are truly recovered we should be able to have that toast at our favorite niece's wedding or just play unguilded and PUG the occasional dungeon or raid.  We convince ourselves that this time will be different, this time we will have control.  So in we go, knowing that in that tiny place where our brain stores addictions we have now opened the door to let the creatures out.  It doesn't take long and once again its 11:30pm on a Wednesday, no one has had dinner and we are 2 hours into a 4 hour dungeon run, the house is a mess, there are no clean clothes and we have lost touch with anyone who doesn't play.  I enjoy the MMO experience, I like the social aspect of it and in games like Lord of the Rings Online, the story and art are incredible to look at.  LotRO is a great game, I will always end up playing when I feel like I want to play a MMO AND have a life.  For now I am still battling against restarting my WOW account, I have so much going on in my life that I really cant afford to get wrapped up in the game again.  It's why I closed the account in the first place and went to LotRO.  I will try to be strong but in the end I am a geek and if I can manage to swing the 2 laptops I want for my husband and I for St. Martin the first thing I will do will be to install WOW.  I may be hopeless lol.  But I will leave you with two fan videos that utilize the game to some wonderful results.  Until then you may find me in Azeroth or Middle Earth but I will be somewhere being the geek that I am.

This video is made to the song "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down.  It is an excellent use of game lore surrounding the Undead race:

This video is just funny as hell and shows a Human Mage wasting everyone in a Player vs Player battleground while crying about why he has to wear a dress:

Meh I know I said two but you can never have too many gnomes...ENJOY!

Must. Fight. Urge...... To restart my WOW account. Ugh more tomorrow.

Terrifying Statistics.....

I once thought that after all my friends were done with college I would never again be tortured by statistics.  In my circle I was math girl and even if I wasnt taking the class, the requests for help still came.  But here I go again (on my own? Going down the only road I've ever known?  GG I'm old) looking for information regarding pregnancy over the age of 35.  Look at these lovelies!   A decrease in the number and health of the eggs to be ovulated. Changes in the hormones resulting in altered ovulation. Fewer number of eggs. A decrease in sperm counts. A decrease in the frequency of intercourse. The presence of other medical and gynecologic conditions, such as endometriosis, which may interfere with conception. Pregnancy After Age 35, Does the Risk Birth Defects Increase? The risk of giving birth to a child with a birth defect does increase as the mother's age increases. This is probably due to abnormal division of the egg, called nondisjunction. This leads to unequal chromosomes at the end of division. The traditional age at which a woman is considered to be at high risk for chromosomal abnormalities is 35. Approximately 1 in 1,400 babies born from women in their 20's have Down syndrome; it increases to about 1 in 100 babies born with Down syndrome from women in their 40s. Pregnancy After Age 35, Will the Risk of Miscarriage Increase? Studies show that the risk of miscarriage (loss of a pregnancy before 20 weeks gestation) is 12% to 15% for women in their 20s and rises to about 25% for women at age 40. The increased incidence of chromosomal abnormalities contributes to this increased risk of miscarriage in older women. Pregnancy After Age 35, What Other Problems can Arise? Chronic health problems, such as diabetes or high blood pressure, are more common in women in their 30s and 40s. Be sure to get these conditions under control before you become pregnant, since they pose risks to both you and your baby. Careful medical monitoring, begun before conception and continued throughout your pregnancy, can reduce the risks associated with these conditions. High blood pressure and diabetes can develop for the first time during pregnancy, and women over the age of 30 are at increased risk. If you are pregnant and over age 35, this makes it especially important that you get early and regular prenatal care to ensure early diagnosis and proper treatment. Stillbirth (delivery of a baby that has died before birth) is more common in women over age 35. Older women are also more likely to have low-birth weight babies (weighing less than 5.5 pounds at birth). Cesarean birth is also slightly more common for women having their first child after age 35. Pregnancy After Age 35, What Types of Prenatal Tests Should I Have? Because women over age 35 are more likely to have certain problems during pregnancy, the following tests may be recommended. These tests can help detect disorders before, during, and after your pregnancy. Some of these tests require appropriate genetic counseling, including a detailed discussion regarding the risks and benefits of the procedure(s). Whether you choose to have the tests is up to you. Talk to your health care provider to find out if any of these tests are right for you.   Ultrasound: a test in which high-frequency sound waves are used to produce an image of your baby. Ultrasound is used early in pregnancy to determine viability (if the baby is in the uterus and if the baby's heart is beating), the presence of more than one fetus, and to determine your baby's due date or gestational age (the age of the fetus). Later in pregnancy, ultrasound may be used to see how the baby is doing, to determine placenta location and the amount of amniotic fluid around the baby. Quad Marker Screen: a blood test in which substances in the blood sample are measured to screen for problems in the development of the fetus' brain, spinal cord, and other neural tissues of the central nervous system (neural tube) such as spina bifida or anencephaly. Neural tube defects occur in 1 or 2 out of every 1,000 births. The quad marker screen can detect approximately 75-80% of open neural tube defects. The quad marker screen can also detect genetic disorders such as Down syndrome, a chromosomal abnormality. The quad marker screen can detect approximately 75% of Down syndrome cases in women under age 35 and over 80% of Down syndrome cases in women age 35 years and older. It is important to note that a "positive" result from this blood test is not definitive for a birth defect. Usually, the next step is to offer the mother an amniocentesis to evaluate the baby's chromosomes as well as an ultrasound to evaluate the baby's body for signs of birth defects. The quad marker screen may be performed between the 15th and 20th weeks of pregnancy.   First Trimester Screen: A newer test done between weeks 10-14 detects the presence of 2 markers in a blood sample in conjunction with an ultrasound to measure the thickness of the back of the fetus' neck. It tests for chromosomal abnormalities, like Down syndrome. It is essentially as accurate as the quad marker screen but results can be obtained earlier in the pregnancy.   Amniocentesis: Amniocentesis, also called an amnio, is a procedure in which a small amount of amniotic fluid is removed from the sac surrounding the fetus and tested for birth defects. While it does not detect all birth defects, it can be used to detect sickle cell disease, cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, Tay-Sachs disease, or Down syndrome if the parents have a significant genetic risk. Amniocentesis can also detect certain neural tube defects (where the spinal cord or brain don't develop normally) such as spina bifida and anencephaly. Because ultrasound is performed at the time of amniocentesis, it may detect birth defects that are not detected by amniocentesis (such as cleft palate, cleft lip, club foot, or heart defects). There are some birth defects, however, that will not be detected by either amniocentesis or ultrasound.   Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS): a test in which a small sample of cells (called chorionic villi) is taken from the placenta where it attaches to the wall of the uterus. Chorionic villi are tiny parts of the placenta that are formed from the fertilized egg, so they have the same genes as the fetus. If you have certain risk factors, you may be offered CVS as a way to detect birth defects during early pregnancy. CVS requires appropriate genetic counseling, including a detailed discussion regarding the risks and benefits of the procedure.     Well there you have it, a regular cornucopia of terror brought to you by, who else, WedMD.  Thank's doc you're bedside manner is top notch!

 

- M

Track my adventures, if you dare!
www.28weeksofchange.blogspot.com

We're Back!

Well my extra long 4 day weekend is finally over and I am back behind the keys at work.  This is my favorite place to blog as I can pretend I am getting paid to do it.  Technically I am, but really it feels more like theft than salary :)

I am a loser, now calm down I don't need any soothing words about how I am not a loser and that I should think better of myself, I meant simply I lose things.  When I lived in Las Vegas I swore that the casinos were going to start charging me for new player's cards.  I would actually get 2 at a time under the adage, one to use and one to lose, but by the next time I was heading to that casino both cards would be gone.  I have burned through no less than 7 Social Security cards in the last decade and lets not talk about all the "momentary" losses I experience every day.  I honestly believe there are gremlins that live in my house and move all my stuff around when I am sleeping.  I will be hunting for my keys only to find them in weird places like the bathroom or the laundry room.  All I know is I didn't put them there and my husband and roommate know better to touch my stuff as they may upset the balance of my organized but chaotic world.  So unless the dogs are in on it, I am calling Gremlin!  Over the years since I have become an "adult" I have lost a wide variety of items of both great and little importance, but the one thing I ALWAYS had, that I ALWAYS could get my hands on in under a minute was my birth certificate.

For some reason that piece of paper was the one thing my brain always knew exactly how to locate.  Probably because the thought of getting another one made me turn yellow with fear.  Sitting in the Social Security office isn't a big deal, neither is DMV, but having to deal with NYS, well past experience told me that it was something I NEVER wanted to do.  So I made sure I knew right where it was.  It saw quite a bit of use as well.  I travelled to the Caribbean every year from the time I was 11 to the time I was 18.  Each trip, that piece of paper was my pass in and out.  It was the same for all the trips I made there when I was older and even for the trip I made to Mexico in 2006.  Birth Certificate and a driver's license was all I needed to get me in and out.

As many of you may know they changed the rules for Canada, Mexico and the Caribbean in 2008.  You are now required to have a US Passport to get in and out of the country.  So being the compulsive planner than I am and understanding that I live paycheck to paycheck at the moment, I planned the saving of the $100 I needed for the passport and I took the day after Memorial Day off to go get it.  I went and got my picture taken last week and on that topic I will only say this, immigration will be very surprised that an old bulldog with a giant zit for a chin, is standing in front of them seeking passage into their country. 

So yesterday I loaded D and I in the car and off we went to my local post office to apply for my passport.  Now I should have known better than to go there simply because these are the same people who: question if I live at my address a full year after I have been receiving mail there, continually changed my husbands address to his fathers house even after SEVERAL written requests not to do so, and are just basically the "Keystone Kops" of mail service.  So I get there and I am all ready to go and I hand her my cherished, ORIGINAL mind you, birth certificate.  It was then the party really started.

Postal Worker: "Oh I cant accept this, its not a birth certificate."

M: "Um, what are you talking about?  This is the only one I have ever had, I am nearly 40 I think I know what it is."

PW: "Well it says "Birth Registration" not "Birth Certificate" the State Department wont accept it"

M: "Listen, I have been travelling internationally with this thing for some 20+ years.  They never had a problem with it before."

PW: "They wont accept this I am sorry"

M: "Have you even looked at it?  It has an official raised seal from the state of NY and on the back in bold print it specifically says "PROOF OF US CITIZENSHIP FOR THE ISSUANCE OF A PASSPORT".  Am I taking crazy pills or is that not what it says RIGHT THERE!!!"

PW: "Look I am just trying to prevent you from having an issue and they wont take this but let me ask my supervisor"

Super: "This is no good but when the branch manager is back from the store we will have her look at it and call you"

At this point he could see I was ready to fly over the counter and murder them both.  Possibly even use one of them to murder the other in a "Hancock" sort of way.  So I left and awaited the inevitable call that was to come.  Sure enough a few hours later i got a call from the branch manager saying she called her contact at the State Department, yeah I buy that, so many one horse towns have a direct line to the feds these days, and they wont accept the document that is my one and only birth certificate, I now get to pay $52.25 to get a copy of the original I already have to send to the government.  You have to love this country sometimes, even though they were screwing me six ways to Sunday they STILL figured out how to get more money out of me in the process.

So where does this leave me today?  A little depressed and delaying my finish work on my Tattoo for a few more weeks while I plan to save what I need once again.  But I think I will end on a high note and watch the clip below imagining myself to be Hancock and the PW and Branch Manager to be the inmates.  If that doesn't work there is always Wedding Crashers, in fact I'm going to leave you a clip of both.  Enjoy!