For the last few weeks I have been feeling exceptionally icky. Two weeks ago I even spent the better part of a Sunday in my bed watching shows that frankly, make me ashamed of my gender. I'm looking at you Bridezilla! The fatigue has been worse than ever and the pain has been pretty amped up. I also threw my girlie cycle into a bit of a tizzy with the dieting so to top it off I was stuck in PMS mode for like 6 weeks.
I managed to get myself an appointment with a new OB/GYN on 6/08. He was great! I am always concerned about going to a new doctor since they always get on me about my weight. No matter what i weigh, its usually never right since they are all about their BMI bullshit. But I digress, this doctor was patient and kind and sort of reminded me of a Latino Kenny Rogers from the Gambler days. I spoke to him about my weight issue since taking Cymbalta and expressed my desire for children. I also let him know that I was a fibromyalgia patient and about the research linking fibromyalgia to hypothyroidism. I told him that the last time I had a thyroid check I was told I was borderline and that was 6 years ago, before they adjusted the level that determine hypothyroidism. Without a mention of my weight, a brief discussion about my age and a comfortable quick exam he decided it was time for another thyroid function test. He also told me if I wasn't pregnant in 6 months of trying he would get me on Clomid ASAP.
I went and got the function test on 06/09 and am awaiting a call this week to schedule a follow up appointment to go over the results and any medications I may need. I am actually pretty excited about this. I am hoping that many of the new symptoms and the worsening of the fatigue will be alleviated by the hormone supplements. I know that being treated for hypothyroidism isn't the weight loss magic bullet. I can say that I am sure I will hit my natural weight much more easily if all my systems are functioning properly and I am also sure that it will be that much easier to get pregnant. I promise to keep you updated on the results.
Recently, due to feeling just horrible about the way I look lately and trying to get to a place of acceptance about my body so that I can just focus on health at any size, I have been reading some "Fat Acceptance" or "Size Acceptance" blogs and websites to help get some perspective on myself and my perceived failures. I have added some of my favorite sites to "My Favorites" at the bottom of the blog. These women, mostly, are amazing. They encourage Health at Every Size and understand that being fat isn't the scapegoat for any illness you can possibly have. They are healthy happy people who live in and love their own skin. For that I say YAY!
I have only known one person in my life, who, while admittedly still trying to shed a few pounds, is so happy and secure in her own skin that she never once worries about whether she "should" wear something, she wears what makes her feel good. Amy Douglas was Beth Ditto lonnnnnnng before Beth hit the scene. She is a woman of curves and she lives the adage, "If you got it, flaunt it!". I admire her and her ability to be who she is and to not give a rat ass what anyone else thinks.
I also came across some very interesting numbers that goes into the category of "Things that make you say HMMM". At the website http://www.bmi-calculator.net/ I was able to get some really good information about the dreaded BMI, which I should note that at the time he won Mr. Universe, The Governator, was obese by BMI standards, but I also got some other information about body fat and lean muscle mass. So for the first time ever I am going to publicly disclose some previously very uncomfortable information about myself. OK well not "previously uncomfortable" because it's pretty fucking uncomfortable right now. But alas, I take a deep breath, 1,2,3 and here we go:
BMI Guideline
BMI Classification - Calculator
18.5 or less Underweight
18.5 to 24.99 Normal
25 to 29.99 Overweight
30 to 34.99 Obesity (Class 1)
35 to 39.99 Obesity (Class 2)
40 or greater Morbid Obesity
I am 5' 5" tall
I weigh 210 lbs
My BMI is 34.94 which puts me in Obese Class 1
To be healthy at my height according to the BMI, I must weigh NO MORE than 149lbs, 1 more pound makes me obese
OK so that means that for me to be healthy according to BMI, I should lose 60 pounds.
Lets look at Body Fat now. - Calculator
Height 5' 5"
Weight 210
Waist 40.5" (this is something that occurred with the medicine induced weight gain this year)
Wrist 7" (when I did Nutri System in 1992 they were amazed at the size of my frame even though celebrity diet doctors claim there is no such thing as "big boned" I carry little to no chub on my wrists)
Hips 48.75" (yep this is also from the meds although I am always a bit hippy, and a little bit country and a little bit rock n roll)
Forearm 10.5" (thank you Goodyear for my Popeye arms)
This gives me a body fat % of 32.44%
Now this site tells you how to figure your lean body mass which is basically your muscles, bones, fluids, blood, and organs. Here is the math
Weight x Body Fat % = Pounds of Fat
Pounds of Fat - Weight = Lean Muscle Mass
So I in my case
210 x .3244 = 68.12 lbs of fat
210 - 68.12 = 141.9
But wait, didn't BMI tell me that I needed to lose AT LEAST, 60 pounds to be healthy?
So what if I lost the 60lbs they wanted me to lose, 60lbs of fat. I would weigh 150lbs. I would have about 10 pounds of body fat on me, that's less than 10%. That means hair loss, skin issues and amenorrhea among other things. Women need at minimum 10 - 12% body fat to keep things functioning. If I want to be simply fit and "acceptable" in terms of body fat, I call 25% a really good number to shoot for. So lets do that math.
210 x .25 = 52.50
141.9 + 52.50 = 194.40
So for me that looks a heck of a lot closer and far more realistic a goal then losing 60lbs. Now I am looking at 20 and the chasm doesn't seem quite so wide.
I guess the point to all this is to listen to your body. Be proactive when it comes to the doctor and make sure that you are expressing yourself properly. They are your employee just like the garbageman and the mailman. Do not allow them to base all your illnesses on the fact that you are a person of size. In order to do that you have to also change your perspective on the people around you. Take a look at today's poll and answer it honestly. Did you judge someone by the way they look only? They could be a wonderful person and even if they aren't, they are a human being with feelings, wants, desires and dreams and are deserving of your love and respect and not your judgement.
Well that's all the rambling I can see fit to do on a Monday morning. I hope this helps someone see that if the doctors want to play a numbers game based on BMI you too can arm yourself with more important numbers and make them prove to you that its your extra pounds that are causing illness XYZ and not the other way around. Until next time, love yourself, judge not, and cheer on our sisters of size who live everyday out loud!
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